w Quotes & Sayings

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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

- Winston Churchill

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

- Franklin P Jones

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

- Ethel Barrymore

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

- Stephen Wright

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

- Elayne Boosler

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

- Oscar Wilde

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